mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
