i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
