oh god the rape fog is back!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
