Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
