Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
