plz talk dirty to me
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Randomize
