why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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