dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
