There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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