There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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