Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
