I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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