She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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