We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
His hands were made for my vagina.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
