she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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