Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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