508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
