whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I know her cup size but not her name....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
