I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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