Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
