is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
