I can text with my tongue
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
