It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
