This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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