walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
