My friends, they love my intelligence
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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