I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
