I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
