i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
