my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
