now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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