It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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