dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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