He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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