I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
