The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
