ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
