i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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