ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize