he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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