i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The uberlube is also flammable
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
