She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
