so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
