PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
