didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
