He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Everything about him screamed your future.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
