So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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