Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
