I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Randomize
