perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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