I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
