the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
